Drunken Master (Hong Kong, 1978)

Jackie Chan lacks discipline. Therefore (?) he is sent to a scruffy, drunk beggar with no hygiene. They drink a lot to emulate eight modes of drunken fighting. This comes in handy when Jackie's father is hunted by a hired assassin (!). There you have it.

Pros:

• Inordinate amounts of wine guzzling. Even during fights.





• A dead drunk kung fu master looking for a drinking companion. Kung fu masters sharing their wisdom.





• Scientific facts!





• Eight inane, random modes of drunk fighting. Here's one of them.




Others include: Tso, the desperate throat lock; Han, blowing his flute; Auntie Ho, swinging her body around.

Why not: Bozo, playing his xylophone; Hai Ho, the comatose; Grannie Pei, showing off, much to her family's embarrassment.


• Embellishes the joys of cirrhosis of the liver drunken fighting.

Cons:

• Could've used some sober people.

Snake in the Eagle's Shadow (Hong Kong, 1978)

A 200 year old clan, the deadly Eagle Claw Society, has, for no apparent reason at all, eliminated every other martial art style in existence. Well, except for one, of course: the Snake Fist school. Jackie Chan, and some bozo dressed as a beggar Grandmaster Pai Cheng-Tien, makes sure the Snake Fist school remains operative. This is achieved by using snakelike hand movements and jumping around whilst hissing like a peevish cat.

This movie has lots going for it.

Pros:

• Christlike kung fu priests wielding crucifix knives.





• Lovable (and seemingly drunk) kung fu masters.





• Inane animal-like attacks. This is obviously the attack of a cat.





• Overzealous (and inappropriate) use of Jean Michel Jarre-music.



• The same sound effect used for everything. Be it punches, chopping or general movement of limbs.

Cons:

• Could've used some more Jarre.